My Weekend (part 2)

Have you ever been in a conversation and said something that you know offended someone? You just feel it, right? Well this was one of those times. Most of these people were Hispanics who didn't look like they went to church much. In San Antonio, Catholicism is huge. I think it's safe to say that most of the Hispanic population here is, has been, or is very familiar with Catholicism. To most, Catholicism is their only concept of Jesus. So to say that Jesus wasn't "catholic"? True, but not very sensitive and not prompted by the Holy Spirit. Truth can be very offensive if not given at the proper time. Needless to say, the first half of my set was rough. By God's grace, the Lord assisted me through the rest of the set.

I was feeling totally useless after the evening was done. I was at our product table thinking, "I'm not coming back here." This is an annual event that I do...and I felt like I just offended about 200 people. So get this! As I was sulking in my mind, this dude comes up to me. (He was one of the few that came to my table that night.) He comes up and says, "I really like your music." I smile and say, "Thank you! What church do you attend?" "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints", he says. In my mind I'm like, "Wow. A Mormon likes my music. What is he gonna say next?" Then he says, "I just wanted to stop by and tell you that you're doing a great job with your music. Don't ever give up. Keep doing it because you're definitely changing things and you're changing people." As strange as this may sound, I knew the Lord sent him my way to tell me that. God and His sense of humor! I was just discussing the Word with a few mormons that came to my house the other day. Those conversations always seem to go the same way. I ask questions, they can't answer, we agree to disagree, I challenge them to let the bible speak for itself, and I lead them in a prayer asking God to show us the truth. But this one was different! I knew God sent this man my way to encourage me. And I didn't say anything back except "thank you so much". (Note: This is not a Mormon promotion. I still disagree with the teachings of the Mormon church because they are contrary to the word of God. However, Jesus is Lord of all. He can use whoever he wants whenever he wants.)

Last night I learned my lesson, properly prepared and the Holy Spirit was with me. Huge difference! I did most of the same songs that I did the night before. The response was totally different though. I wasn't just ministering mind-to-mind or emotion-to-emotion. I was ministering "spirit-to-spirit" as my wife would say. This weekend was just another reminder that I'm nothing without the Lord. Christ is everything and He knows how to minister to His people better than I do. This was definitely not one of my best weekends but hey...the Lord taught me something. I'm gonna try to keep this memory in my mind and refer to it the next time I start feeling discouraged. I'm an artist and a human being. There will be a next time. Fortunately, I don't have to be ruled by emotions next time.

In closing, one other thing that helped me with my weekend was reading my friend Rachel Gallagher's blog. She's guest blogging for me this Thursday but she sent it in to me this weekend. Perfect timing, Rachel! Thank you. Make sure you come back this Thursday. You'll definitely be encouraged.

Thanks for reading,

Jarrell

My Weekend (part 1)

This weekend was a very interesting one for me. Very emotional. Let me give you a little reason for my "emo-ness". I'm an artist in between projects.

One day my wife and I were having a pretty deep conversation and she said that she read something that gave her some insight into my emo personality. She read that people who are creative generally go through a rough process in order to create something. After the thing is created, the artist (or preacher, or whoever) is on a high...but then the high wears off after a while. Then the artist goes into this state of mild depression until his/her creativity is sparked again. (Of course she told me this during one of my down moments.) Just a little FYI, this doesn't HAVE TO happen to all artists. It only applies to the ones who are choosing to be led by their emotions rather than trust in God. Since Jeneil shared that with me, I've been on the lookout for the devil's trap. It's really helped me to be aware of what's going on with me. Getting to the weekend...

So on this particular weekend, I was feeling a little less than excited about ministering. I found out that a concert that I was scheduled to minister at later on this year got canceled. (And I was really looking forward to that one too.) I couldn't get in the studio last week either. Nothing seemed to be going the way I wanted it to go. I was in one of those "why-am-I-even-ministering-through-music" kinda attitudes. I was like, "There are so many other ministers out there. I'm not needed. I'm not effective here anymore." I had two day block party that I was ministering at this weekend. It started Saturday night and ended last night. It was an outdoor event so I was already drained by the time I got up to rap. I prayed before I got up there but it wasn't nearly the preparation that I should've done...because I was in my mood, remember?

I will say this as a parenthetical statement. My preparation is everything. I am not the best rapper out there. I know of local talent who can run circles around me as far as skills are concerned. I'm talented but I'm not stellar. I know the only thing that separates me from others is my preparation. I ask God that His glory be seen and not mine. And I spend time with God until I know that He's up there with me. That's where all of the passion (an even on-the-spot revelation) comes from. Unfortunately, not a lot of artists do this. Most of the time they go up there in their own strength and arrogance and depend on their skills to win people over. Every time I've done that I've failed. And it's not a good feeling.

So I get up on stage...spiritually unprepared. I start off with the a capella verse. In that verse, I make a statement about Jesus not being Catholic...

(To be continued...)