Now some might say that we are to model Christ and Christ only. This may come as a shock to you but I agree and disagree. I think as believers we should ultimately model Christ. However, the person of Jesus is expressed through His body in so many ways. For instance, Paul wrote to the church in Corinth "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." Paul essentially said "I'm safe to imitate because I'm imitating Christ." If you've ever seen the affects of discipleship, you know that you can look at someone and tell who's been mentoring that person. If you see Christ-like qualities in a person, it's ok to imitate those things.
Anyway, I've been really feeling the need to dive head first into this stuff and just find out where it will take me. I'm hesitant for a couple of reasons. 1) I've been afraid to dive into this because I'm afraid I'll lose my "balance". I like having a balanced, logical approach to things. Plus I've seen some crazy things happen to people who have jumped head first into something. They're not ok. Seriously, I'm not saying that because I'm not a radical Christian. They are right now living contradictory to the word of God but they thing they are dead on...and have scripture to prove it. I don't want that to be me. 2) It seems like today's Christian climate is NOT the perfect climate for a John the Baptist/Elijah type of ministry...not if you want to be relevant at least. Right now it seems that everyone is trying to reach people and build people by relating to them. And then once they've related to them, they show them to source of satisfaction and joy. The crazy thing is that it's highly effective right now. It's been working for a lot of artist like Lecrae and Reach Records...and now Da TRUTH, etc. Admirable pastors too! I'm wondering "With so many people on the same page, will going against the grain actually work against what the Spirit is doing?" I say going against the grain because the stuff I'm getting is "black and white" and I'm not trying to relate to anyone except people who know that they have a similar call. I feel like John the Baptist. I can picture him saying, "Uh...I've been in the wilderness for the past few years...unplugged from the world. I don't know what it feels like to drink, to be high, to have sex outside of marriage, and I may not have ever heard of your favorite song or TV show. I just have a message. Wanna hear it?" Sometimes I ask myself why God gave me the ability to rap. Honestly. Wouldn't the ideal "Christian rapper" be able to relate to the urban context and show them the way out? That ain't me. I'm just a guy who can rap and I love God...and hate sin. Or why am I a youth pastor? Can I relate to any of these kids? By God's grace I didn't fall into the traps of sex, drugs and alcohol. I don't think it's right to drink or to ride around listening to music that doesn't glorify God because it's "good music". I don't condemn those that do but that's not me. Maybe I'm old school.
For my 2 hesitations I've had two silencers coming up. 1) The Lord and my faith community. They won't let me fall. 2) If I regard the wind I will not sow. I don't need to worry about the climate. A forerunner's ministry is normally marked by going against the grain away. I just have to believe that God put me where I am
I'm working on another CD. I don't know if people will respond or how they will respond. Some will probably love it. A lot of people will probably hate it. Some people probably won't understand it. Some will be curious and will stand by and wait to see what happens next. Nobody will pay for it though...it'll be a free download. Pray that I minister to the youth and through the music with clarity and God's emotions on the topic and not mine. I'm writing songs now and it's pretty hard to do.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your prayers,
Jarrell
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