I know it's been a little while since I've blogged. I've definitely had a lot on my plate recently. Let's see... I've got the fairly new arrival of my daughter Nyomi, conceptualizing and planning a new format of youth ministry in accordance with the Word and the new direction of our church (tough), establishing the new record label, releasing our first CD and everything that comes with that, and let's not forget the hardest part... striving to be a better husband for my wife and a better father for my daughter. I think the hardest part about this is not neglecting my spiritual life in order to do "things" for God. It's tough. All of the things I mentioned that I'm involved in require time, serious thought, counting the cost, and to be quite honest it's very draining. It's hard juggling all of these things. They all require my attention (some obviously more than others). However, when it comes to any of these daunting tasks, failure is not an option. I sometimes wonder why the Lord gave me these assignments when He KNEW EXACTLY HOW HE WIRED ME!!
Ok...a little transparency here. Here's a little bit about Jarrell. I would definitely be classified as a free spirit with leadership qualities. For those of you who know anything about leadership, that's not a compliment to myself haha! I should know because I very much dislike serving under "free spirits". I really don't even like talking about anything worth talking about with free spirits. It's just too complicated sometimes so I walk away feeling like Cole from Sixth Sense when he said, "...You're a nice guy, but you can't help me!" I'm attracted to structure, probably because I know that I lack it in a lot of areas. I like to dream big, but I'm horrible at calculating a plan on how to get where I need to go. I'm very direct, but very sensitive. If someone is very direct with me, I will probably resent it unless our relationship is good. In that case, I will only resent it for a little while, but afterwards we'll be closer friends! Haha that's so real!
So after all of this assessment of myself, I came to a conclusion. GOD WIRED ME TO NEED OTHER PEOPLE. I don't have the luxury of choosing whether or not I should have good friends. If I'm ever gonna get to where I feel the Lord is taking me, I'm gonna need great friends who are patient with me. Also it would be cool if they were not needy, always in need of something. Don't get me wrong, I can minister to needy people. But when it comes to someone pouring into me...a mutual iron sharpening iron friendship?? Nah, the needy need not apply lol! God wired me like that for a purpose!! I feel He's called me to assist the body of Christ in the growth of a few areas. Two of them are 1)biblical discipleship and 2)authentic community. Sometimes when God wants you to address something in the body, He will put you in situations where you realize that you NEED this issue to be addressed for the sake of your own spiritual growth. This is often how ministry is birthed from the overflow of your spiritual life. It goes so much deeper than theory because you're living it RIGHT NOW! Biblical discipleship requires authentic community. Authentic community needs great relationships built on godly love in order to survive. That's what I need right now.
I said all of that to say this: Give attention to the way that God wired you. He wired you the way He did for a specific purpose. The way He wired me has everything to do with why He put me here on this earth. God gives us huge hints sometimes. even if we are not necessarily searching for Him, He will create a divine dissatisfaction in us concerning our purpose and identity. If we follow the breadcrumbs and listen carefully, the hints will lead us to Him and His purpose for our lives.
Hope this is a blessing to you,